Should Sex Ed Always Be Sex-Positive?

A friend sent me this link to a new Sex Ed web site called Sex.Really., sponsored by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Unlike some other sex ed web sites, it's geared towards women in their 20's, and is designed to

"provide food for thought, and for discussion. Sort of like a sex site for the brain..."

I love the idea of the site in theory – yes, people of all ages need sex education, especially those in their 20s and 30s (and even 40s, 50s and 60s) who are making up the 'rules' as they go. But most of the content seems to revolve around the work of author Laura Sessions Stepp. And as a post over at Jezebel so aptly describes, that means:

In the system of sexuality that Sessions Stepp seems to favor — the slow, steady, codified "running of the bases" within a relationship — women are always the sexual gatekeepers. This stance neatly sidesteps any notion of men's responsibility for, well, anything. In Sessions Stepp's view, women trade sex begrudgingly in return for access to the socially-protected role of "girlfriend" and the supposed privileges that come with it.

Putting aside Sessions Step's assumption that all sex is between men and women, or how ridiculous it is to task young women with protecting their chastity, exactly why can this approach be so harmful?

For that I turned to my friend Jessica* who has just started dating casually after getting out of a four-year relationship. When I showed her the site, she told me this:

It was weird for me at first to have sex with someone I wasn't in a relationship with, and I kind of freaked out and thought I was doing something wrong. But then I realized that "I feel like I'm doing something wrong" thing wasn't coming from me, it was coming from my fear of being judged by other folks.

For me I couldn't make sex contingent upon a relationship because I wasn't ready to get into a new relationship. But I did want to have sex.

It's weird, it probably would have been more unhealthy for me to force a relationship in order to have sex. But I think [Laure Sessions Step] would think that having a relationship was more healthy.

And she's not my only friend who's had this reaction, especially after getting out of a relationship.

I agree that it's good for sex ed to be holistic, and to talk about the emotional consequences of the decisions we make -- Planned Parenthood of New York City uses a model of sex ed that talks about body image, relationships and everything else in between. And I also agree that navigating just what kind of sexual relationship (no strings attached, long term relationship) you're comfortable entering into can be really tricky.

But sites like Sex.Really., with their warnings about the negative consequences of hook ups, don't do much to help the matter. And perpetuating the assumption that women always want an emotional commitment and men never do can't be good for either gender.

But maybe I'm erring on the side of being too anything-goes sex-positive. What do you think? Is there value in what Laura Sessions Step has been producing for the site?

* Yes, names have been changed to protect the newly-singe

The Midwest Teen Sex Show Goes PrimeTime!

I've posted many times about my love for the Midwest Teen Sex Show. I mean it's hilarious sketch comedy that' teaches better sex ed that most U.S. schools do – where can you go wrong?

So that's why when I saw that the MTSS was going to take a break from their regular podcasts I was sad. Until…

I found out that it was because the show had been picked up by Comedy Central!

Yes, that's right. The video sex ed troupe that used a hot dog and cup of chocolate and peanut butter to teach about anal sex will now be on national cable.

Check out MTSS's other great videos, including ones on The Older Boyfriend, Syphilis and Vaginas.

Goodbye Abstinence Only Funding!

Just a quick link, but check it out! Obama has effectively removed almost all the national funding for abstinence-only education. Definitely the best way to celebrate national teen pregnancy prevention month that I've heard so far.

Becasue Skinless Sheep Are Gross

Thanks, Midwest Teen Sex Show.

Hump Day Headlines!

It’s Wednesday, otherwise known as hump day! Here is your appropriately-reproductive-health-themed news roundup:

• According to Newsweek, more than $1million has been donated to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin’s name. Who knew an anti-choice candidate could do so much good for women’s health?

• A clinic in Iowa is holding a birth control party! Called “Smart and Sexy,” it’s apparently just like the traditional Tupperware parties of the ‘50s, only this time they’ll be talking about how best to prevent pregnancy instead of how best to store leftovers.

• File under gulp: Syphilis is on the rise in Knox County, TN! So in case you were planning any late-October romantic jaunts to the deep south, you know, be careful. As a bonus, public health officials are helpfully warning that either paying for or trading something for sex may put you at a higher risk.

• According to a new survey by the Office for National Statistics, UK women aged 16 to 49 prefer the pill to condoms when it comes to contraception. Insert requisite joke about the Brits’ oral fixation here..

• Laura McGann over at the Washington Independent has a nice roundup of Sarah Palin’s coded anti-choice views.

• A federal appeals court heard arguments yesterday on whether a Virginia law punishing doctors for performing a late-term abortion procedure called dilation and extraction should be upheld. Although the court is expected to take several weeks to make its decision, if the law is overturned it would make only ten, not eleven, states that have laws banning the procedure.

• Amanda Marcotte over at RH Reality check has a great piece up reminding us to not only call for the removal of abstinence-only education, but the implementation of comprehensive Sex Ed. Because the only thing worse than simply telling our kids not to have sex is telling them nothing at all…

And they're off...

So last night the Dem candidates (yes, for Prez) debated on a CNN/YouTube forum with questions posed by regular ol' folks. Fielding such queries as "are you black enough?" or "are you female enough?" the candidates did their best to not seem annoyed that Tom Brokaw wasn't the one forming the questions. For a full transcript click here

In addition to the questions re: War & Peace, someone did inquire whether or not the candidates had chatted with their kids about sex. For some reason, this seemed a bit harder to answer than one might imagine; Senators Edwards and Obama (the two who answered the questions) both deferred to "good touching v. bad touching."

Hmm... does this apparent discomfort maybe underscore the point that it is HARD to talk to your kids about sex? Y'know what could help? If you think the answer is: SEX ED click here.

Call Joe Bruno -- (518) 455-3191

Today's Monday, July 16th -- does everyone remember what that means? State senate is back, probably very busy not passing the Healthy Teens Act. For more reasons why they should, check out PPNYC's President Joan Malin in today's Metro: http://www.ppnyc.org/new/releases/inthenews/metro071607.html

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In other news, Louisiana has the dubious distinction of becoming the first state to outlaw an abortion procedure since SCOTUS upheld the federal abortion ban. Like the federal ban, Louisiana has outlawed a safe, effective abortion method unless the woman's life is in danger (who cares if her health is in jeopardy, right?).

Why, some may wonder, does the state need to its own ban when the federal government has already (foolishly, dangerously and purely politically) done the deed for them? Well, this way the state can arrest and prosecute doctors itself rather than having to wait for the federal government. Nice going Gov. Kathleen Blanco: you've come a long way, baby...

Bruno to teens: Drop Dead

Speaking of sex ed, remember how last month the NY State Senate (e.g . Joe Bruno) let the session expire without bringing the Healthy Teens Act to the floor for a vote? Despite the support of 85% of New Yorkers, despite there not being a mandate, despite no funding just yet, despite the Assembly and the Senate's own health committee passing it?

Well, on Monday, the Senate (e.g. Joe Bruno) returns to…drumroll... once again refuse to let the bill come to the floor for a vote.

Granted, I'm some years out of social studies, but I sorta thought we elected officials to represent our wishes. So it seems to me that if 85% OF NEW YORKERS SUPPORT THE BILL (and, of course, it's a common-sense bill backed by science), then the Senate should pass it.

If you agree, feel free to call Joe Bruno's office at (518) 455-3191
and tell him so. We've tried.

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And three cheers for Tory Bowen, who arranged a rally to protest a Judge's effort to prevent her from using the words "rape," "victim," "assailant" and "sexual-assault kit," in the trial against her alleged... umm, "the man who had sex with her when she didn't consent."

As it turns out, that ever charming Judge declared a mistrial because of said rally, accusing Ms. Bowen her friends of drumming up pretrial publicity that tainted the jury pool. To that, she responded -- quite reasonably I might add --that she "chose to speak out after Cheuvront's order because silencing rape victims is something that has been done for far too long."

Hello, He Lied

Like it wasn't outrageous/unethical/ludicrous/(umm… unsurprising?) enough that the Bush administration was by and large forbidding the Surgeon General – "the nation's doctor" – from TELLING THE TRUTH about medical issues (including but by no means limited to: contraception, sex ed and stem cell research). Now we are being asked to accept the latest Bush appointee to the position, Dr. Holsinger, who has a NIGHTMARE record on homosexuality and HIV/AID on the grounds that his scary views were based on old data? Wow.

Now, is it possible that Dr. Holsinger really was just a lousy researcher (wonderful quality in a Surgeon General, btw) and all his material was outdated, as his supporters are trying to claim? Mayybeee…but if you ask me: if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck… it's probably a bigot.

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In other news: what godawful legislation are we opposing today? Answer: that would be Congress's last minute decision to
extend Title V funding for abstinence-only sex ed. It passed in the wee hours, so too late to do anything about it now, but I wanted to make sure you know that the Dems did not, as they had promised, let this bad funding expire. Fan-tast-ic.

Syphilis = Preventable

Well, after leveling off for the past couple of year, seems our good friend syphilis is back with a vengeance, skyrocketing infection rates throughout NYC in particular. So it's time for a crash course in STD prevention: if you're gonna have sex, condoms are the only method of birth control (actually, the only method of anything) that will protect you against STDs including syphilis and HIV.

A brief service plug: you can get condoms and STD testing/counseling at Planned Parenthood health centers. And, oh right, Planned Parenthood also advocates for sex ed, which would actually help teens prevent the one and learn about the other.